On one of my first days at the clinic I met a Rwandan refugee woman who showed me around the area. I believe that staying in someones home is the best way to really get to know a place, so I told her I wanted to come stay with her. In Africa, hospitality is great honor: families consider guests a gift from God. So, I didn't feel like I was imposing.
So last night I stayed with her and her children Dear, Lucky, Winner, and Joy. She had just been "chased" from her last house because she could not pay. I was with them on their first night in their new place. I honestly don't know how she survives. It is so hard to find work in Kampala that she is unemployed just looking for odd jobs to support her family. She is completely reliant on others' generosity for school fees for her kids and places to stay.
While we were waiting for her daughter to go get some charcoal for a fire I asked her about her home. She is Tutsi and married a Hutu man before the genocide. She could not stand the hate in Rwanda, and so after her husband disappeared she brought her family to Kampala. I love talking to her because she is able to see past the hate that many cling to after such a war. She told me that when her children ask about the war, she only tells them political reasons. She said that she will not place blame on any tribe and cause them to hold hate in their heart. She told me that we should love everyone--that tribe doesn't matter, but she explained that although she tries to love everyone she cannot trust everyone. Because her children are "mixed" (Hutu and Tutsi) she explained that many people hate them. Because she is Tutsi but married a Hutu she felt, and still feels, hate from both tribes. As she told me more about her experience in Rwanda and people who have helped her here, she continued to remind me that these are secret things. She does not even want other members of the church to know because she cannot trust them. She feels they still have resentment to her heritage.
It is such a privilege to meet people like Pascasie. Rwanda is certainly not the only place with tribal hate and prejudices. Around the world people identify with what they are familiar with and hate what they do not know, even building a hierarchy based on tribe and color. However, this beautiful lady from such a violent background realizes that hate and blame is not the answer. She chooses to love, and is raising her children to do the same.
She braided my hair for me. It took 12 hours, so we got good bonding time. I was able to pay her a good price, and I think when I leave I may try to use some of the donation money to give her another month's rent. Thanks again for the donations. Some have asked about leaving some: just see my first post.
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